![]() "She would just go to anyone in the neighborhood and say, 'If you see any twins, Korean-American twins, looking for Mrs. Jae-Im told Cho that his mother regretted the adoption until the day she died. "When I told her the name of Pae Seong-eun, and she had twins and, you know, there was this whole story on Facebook, I got a feeling that she knew who I was talking about, but she wouldn't admit it," Cho told "20/20." "She said, 'Only siblings have rights to ask for it.' She gave me that hint."Ĭho found Connie's other son Jae-Im, whom Thomas had adopted in the '60s. The post was shared over one million times, catching the attention of ABC News’ “20/20,” who enlisted the help of investigative genealogist Pam Slaton and ABC News’ Seoul Bureau Chief Joohee Cho. This April, Thomas, who lives in Mossyrock, Washington, posted photos and documents on Facebook asking for help finding his twins. But because of privacy laws, Thomas was not given any other information. Buck Foundation, which helped support Asian-American children, that Connie had put the twins up for adoption and that they were adopted into the U.S. He found out in the early '80s through the U.S. They did everything they could with the resources that they had, but always seemed to run into roadblocks," Charlene Thomas told "20/20." "My mom had helped my dad search for so long. They also had a third son together, but he never forgot about his children in Korea. He adopted both of them, daughter, Charlene, and son, Scott. In the years that followed, Thomas divorced Connie in absentia and married Polly Paquin, a high school friend who already had two children. It was observed (ironically) that TTSGI’s members are highly dedicated to the organization, even while they would prefer to be non-members.Thomas said he continued to write to Connie for years asking about the twins, but eventually the letters were returned without a forwarding address. Many told me privately that one never fully gets over the loss of a twin, which may explain why some twins return to the convention year after year. Older twins, even those whose twins had died many years before, emphasized the unreality of their loss. Young adults worried about the well-being of their nieces and nephews (their co-twins' children). Teenagers mourned the fact that they would not experience this crucial life stage with their twin. Each life story was a different take on the emotional difficulties and complexities that bereaved twins face. These sessions were extremely moving and gave depth and substance to the data files that others and I have amassed over the years. Twins were invited to describe the circumstances of their loss, its effects on their life, their methods for coping, and their fondest memories of their twins. The second part of the day was dedicated to twin testimonials. In addition, very few twins (fortunately!) have lost children, also precluding twin group analyses of such data. Comparing the effects of twin loss versus spouse loss between surviving MZ and DZ twins would be revealing however, my own sample of nearly 700 bereaved twins does not include sufficient numbers to support such an analysis. Interestingly, grief associated with spouse loss did not differ from grief associated with twin loss. At the proximal level, spouses are the people chosen to be lifelong companions. This make sense in evolutionary terms-in the absence of a partner, one cannot transmit genes to future generations. The second finding is that the loss of a twin is associated with greater grief than the loss of any other relative, with the exception of a spouse. ![]() ![]() There is also evidence of less grief reduction over time for identical than fraternal twins, on average. The first is that identical twins experience the loss somewhat more intensely than fraternal twins, although there is considerable overlap-the loss experience may be just as devastating for some fraternals. Two key findings have emerged from the extant research on twin loss.
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